Lord of the Nightlights
by PolkadottedPandas
Summary: Just some random bullshit story my doofus boyfriend and I came up with while procrastinating. Has an awesome mix of different fandoms, so have fun I suppose. There is random shipping involved, so read at your own risk I guess? Disclaimer:We own nothing from George Lucas, J.R.R Tolkien, J. K. Rowling, Eric Kripke, Stan Lee, or DC Comics.


**Dear followers, this is complete bullshit we randomly came up with. I promise I'm (slowly) working on my next story but in the mean time, enjoy this. **

A long time ago in a not so far away place people lived without internet connections or tumblr forcing them to go on adventures for entertainment. There were a lot of walking scenes because apparently hobbits don't make sense. At some point the eagles showed up because it was convenient for the plot and the magical midgets were whisked off to before Gandalf bravely died. Again. (in a lightsaber battle with R2-D2) Which he's ashamed of because it's no more dangerous than a night light. The great conquest was eventually won when the hobbits accidentally stepped in lava with their huge ass they didn't forget second breakfast, so it's okay. Crying out in horror, the hobos ran forward to their burning comrades and took the second breakfast from the bags screaming "OUR PRECIOUS".

Then of course the classic bromance scene happened with Boromir and Aragorn. Then everyone panicked because Darth Vader was about to blow up the planet. But before he did that the hobbits had time to pick on him, reminding him of his horrible childhood nickname. Struck with instant insanity from being called "little orphan annie" too many times he leapt out of the death star and chicken danced to his the death star exploded… again. On the bright side it will be rebuilt in a movie or 2. And everyone will be singing along happily until it's blown up once more, when will these fuckers learn to stop rebuilding it? Instead of blowing it up, Disney is planning an amazing musical number where little orphan annie declares his secret love of smeagol.

Then all the normal people ran and hid from the gross shipping of two completely different worlds. It was still less creepy than the great wincest scandal.. I think I just heard a bunch of fangirls screaming in a battle cry… Quickly! we must prepare the armies of all fandoms to protect us against this near immortal and insanely weird enemy. But the Whovians realized just how creepy some of the fangirls of SPN can be and left the fandom, leaving it to be Superlock. (right after shipping the doctor and sherlock) And obviously Bilbo/Watson didn't agree very well with this. So disgusted were these characters that they began walking south to New Mexico to go feature in Breaking worst career choice they ever made. Meth. Not even multiple times. Smeagol moved past his creepy relationship and formed a very successful law firm with Saul explains his weird assistant, IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER NOW!

Luke skywalker was declared the new king of Mordor after stabbing the giant flaming "eye" multiple times with his lightsaber. (nightlight) (nightlight that can slice people in half)(whoa… that's so scary. Said no one ever.) He then drove off in his dinky chevy (Dean's car) because it was the shittiest thing to distract the enemies. They didn't even try and follow because Chevy is just THAT terrible. After stealing the impala, Harry and Ron enchanted it to fly and ran over Umbridge. repeatedly. Then they finally deported Justin Bieber while singing happy days. BECAUSE IM HAPPY played on the radio for 6 months straight, converting millions of innocent radio listeners to satanism.

They then decided to visit the wall of Jerusalem where they asked Santa for a pony. They had to wait in line because of all the people twerking on the wall and screaming "Thank you Jesus" For they had received donuts covered in holy sprinkles with a side of Green jello and grape flavored kool-aid. aint nobody got time fo dat. This is why Utah education is going down the drain. Damn you Asia for making our schools look bad! But Asia only does things in the heat of the moment… like making new ipad minis. Because clearly your phone isn't small enough and the iPad is just too damn big you need to balance the two. On the bright side its finally small enough to fit in the hands of the child who made it. Like little orphan annie. His musical career never took off and he was forced to fall back on his career of ruling side by side with emperor palpatine. But he often thought of his pedo girlfriend. Like he was complaining.. This is getting oddly weird and specific.

Thanks Stan Lee. I thought it was Michael Bay? Don't forget about Batman. Because he's so hot you're jealous of him. I'm more jealous of Thor's abs than a grown man in a rubber suit. He's your hot boyfriend isn't he? I knew it.. he gets way too many people falling for him in just three days… If anyone read this they'd think we were insane.. Only as insane as going down a water slide with mayo. Texting your hot boyfriend again? Damn him for being blonde.

**R&R if you somehow managed to stick through this entire weird story? I think you should for the sake of humanity. **


End file.
